Italy

"Why, Vicky, it's so good to hear from you again! It's been far too long."

Thank you, guys. You are too kind. I do apologize for not updating sooner like I had planned. The trip was exhausting (three countries in nine days was extreme) and even if I wasn't tired by the end of the day, the hotel in Rome charged for WiFi. But I will talk more about Hotel Blah-blah-blah later. All you need to know is that I'm back and ready to tell you all about Italy. Or at least what my dull memory can recall.

So gather around and listen to my tale.

Venice

We arrived in Venice in the afternoon. We had to take a water taxi to our hotel away from the main island of Venice to Lido. The hotel was very nice and after spending the previous couple of nights in a hostel we were happy. The bathroom... Well, what can I say without over-using the adjective "nice?" Oh, there was something that none of us had ever seen. It looked like a cross between a toilet and a sink. At first I thought it was a bidet, but having never seen one, I questioned myself then convinced myself it was something else. Elise asked what a bidet was to which Dan told her it was for women to clean their woman parts. I told him that men use it too, and then I told Elise that at least between the two sexes they should.

We made our way downstairs and after the concierge told us that all the restaurants would be closed until dinner, we decided to go to the beach. Little did I know that I was playing in the Mediterranean Sea. Of course there's a video.

I was told that I laughed too much in this video and for no apparent reason. Of course there was a reason. The first reason was that I was at the beach! The second reason was that I noticed a rather large woman in a swimsuit and it caught me by surprise. I was laughing because I didn't want her to think I was a weird perv that liked to record large, swimsuit-clad women. So there!

We collected some sea shells and wiped the sand from our feet before returning to the hotel. Now I'm going to admit something that is better left forgotten. I used the weird low sink thing to wash my feet. (I recently looked it up and discovered that it was in fact a bidet, and my feet have been thoroughly scrubbed clean since.)

We went in search of a restaurant, and to be honest, I was a little disappointed with the lasagna I had. It wasn't fresh and Vicky wept on the inside. To make up for the disappointment of dinner we walked around until we found a gelato stand. Soooo delicious. I must have had gelato every day I was in Italy.

All in all, Venice was beautiful but we had to leave the next morning to go to Florence.

Florence

Being that we were in Florence for such a short period of time, we had a list of things we wanted to see. Danial wanted to see the Duomo and I wanted to see some art. I really wanted to see Michelangelo's "David" but we didn't have enough time to stand in line. As it turns out I didn't need to because every street vendor sold refrigerator magnets of the famous "piece." 

So in Florence we learned how persistent some of the vendors are. Poor Elise was nearly intimidated into buying a shirt that she knew her brother wouldn't like and Dan got taken for a couple of euros. What happened was we came across a man selling things. He placed in each of our hands a wooden animal. I shook my head and told him that I wasn't interested. He said, "No vendi. Gratis."

I still wasn't feeling it, so I shook my head and tried to hand it back. The man would not take it back. Instead he told me it was for me and then tried to show me other things I might like to buy. I held out the tiny animal and said I couldn't take it because I wasn't going to buy anything. He told me again to keep it.



Readers, can you guess what I did? Of course you can. I shrugged and walked away with my free animal. Elise followed me, but Danial wasn't so lucky. The guy stopped him and said, "Three euro." And Dan paid him!

So the lesson is, you need to walk away quickly when somebody gives you something for free. 

We went into a museum... let me go look for the brochure... Palazzo Medici-Riccardi or Medici Riccardi Palace. It had many wonderful paintings and I wish we could have spent a little longer there. Oh! It also had this guy...

I may not have gotten to see David, but I saw his cousin!

By this time we had stopped in some shops and we already had bags from the other cities we visited, so I thought it best to look for another bag so I wouldn't be juggling so many. It's just a hassle when traveling.

We got on our train and were über excited about Rome.

Rome  

Rome.

Yeah. Most of the problems on our trip happened in Rome.

We arrived in Rome at about eleven at night. When we booked our hotel, we somehow thought it was right next to the Vatican. It was not. But it was a 10 minute walk to the metro that could take us to the Vatican.

When we got into our room... I'm really trying to come up with a way that doesn't make me sound like a spoiled American. There is no way. Hotel Blah-blah-blah was a huge let down. We booked a triple room and it looked like they dug up an extra twin bed and stuck it with the two that were already in there. There wasn't any easy access to an outlet. (The one I did find didn't work and my phone died overnight.) Also, the restroom was a shower with a toilet in it.

I was tired, hungry, and none to pleased with the accommodations. I decided it would be best for all involved if I had dinner before talking to the concierge about my concerns.

He seemed like a nice enough man. When I asked about their WiFi, he told me that it would cost €5 for two hours and I would need to be in the lobby to use it. (Strike one.) When I asked about a nearby place to eat, he tried to give me directions. I explained to him that we were all tired and would most likely get mixed up and asked if he could write them down. Instead he walked me to the glass doors and repeated the same directions while pointing. (Strike two.)

Determined to get something in my belly before I snapped, we headed out. And like I predicted, we got a little mixed up and had to re-trace our steps. It didn't help that he didn't mention any street names only something about a "main road." This so-called main road took us along a huge building surrounded by barbed-wire-topped brick walls. (Strike three!)

I was thinking, "I know that man did not send me to walk alongside a prison at midnight."

Fear not for our heroes, it was merely a military base. Still not too comforting, but it beat the alternative. The neighborhood was still pretty shady-looking. As you can guess, Vicky was not too happy. When we returned, the concierge saw us coming and made a hasty retreat, leaving his replacement to hear what he probably knew what was coming.

I told Dan and Elise that I didn't want them at the counter with me. I couldn't stay calm with them there, and it would seem too confrontational with all three of us in his face. Plus those two have a tendency to talk over each other. Dan decided I needed physical support and that he would stay in the lobby where he could still glare at the poor guy I was talking to.

In a calm voice I told him that I wasn't happy with my accommodations. I told him that I was expecting a four-star hotel—

"Three-star," he interrupted.

I forced a smile on my face but it reeked of "haughty derision." He knew what was coming. I told him everything I told you. I told him that I wasn't happy. I told him that if I wanted to stay in a hostel, I would have picked one out that would have made me happier in both price and accommodations. And finally I told him that not only was I disappointed, but I was disappointed that I would have to stay there for three nights.

I didn't shout or raise my voice or swear at him, but he still had a hard time looking me in the eyes.

The next morning we received a call from the front desk, asking if we wanted another room. I was taking my toilet shower and, on hearing Dan on the phone, I shouted yes.

So it was a late start and we had a lot on our agenda.

First was the Vatican.

It took us five hours to tour the Vatican and museum. Well, this is what I experienced...

Elise, trying to photobomb, but she's too slow.

St. Peter's Basilica in the background.

Long hall full of statues and busts.

Found my muse in Rome.

Statue of Laocoön and His Sons was easily my favorite
piece in the Vatican Museum.

Dalí

Bacon— didn't expect to see it there.

Me and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Michelangelo's Last Judgment

Looking at The Hand of God.

They kept the Sistine Chapel at the very end of the tour, and it was well worth the wait. My neck is still a little sore from staring at the ceiling for so long, but it was awe-inspiring. If you're wondering why the pictures are so dark, it's because there was a guard saying that photography was not allowed. But it's not true if there's no proof, and I was truly there.

After that we made our way outside to St. Peter's Square...

I never did go to mass. Rome just tuckered me out.

I did go inside St. Peter's Basilica though, and boy was I lucky. Looky at what I found...

I studied this piece in my art history class. Never did I think I'd see it one day. Michelangelo's The Pieta is really magnificent. In my humble opinion, I think Michelangelo's sculptures are better than his paintings.

"What? Vicky, how can you say that? You just went on and on about the Sistine Chapel's ceiling!"

What can I say? I dig his sculptures more.

Right, so I'm tired, and this post already feels extremely long. I'll try to finish Italy tomorrow... or I just might talk about my visit to the Wallace Monument instead. Bwahahaha! Just kidding. Tomorrow, the conclusion of Italy!